(I was) Not Allowed
I was not allowed
To eat
When I ate
When hungry
When full
To be hungry
And the fridge
Was full of promise
That bitch.
I was not allowed
To curse
Like I did
Then slam the door
In my mother’s face
Cause good girls,
Therefore, they won’t.
I was not allowed
To fear
Or feel
Need or want
Cry hot tears
Be in love
Dream the dreams
Average people like us,
I was not allowed
To keep things private
Cause why would
Be allowed
What I hide
From their
Grabby fingers
Greedy eyes
Jealous hearts.
I was not allowed
To be wicked
Deny Jesus
Stand up straight
Sing my tune
Have my way
Cause my way
Was a stubborn way.
Now that I am allowed
I still won’t
Cause I haven’t learnt
How to want
What I want.
Agnieszka Walczuk
19 March 2020